im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
