Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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