The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
