The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
