i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
