Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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