I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
