maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
