so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize