Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
