It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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