So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
