Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize