Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
