No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
