I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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