Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
