Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
