as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
