he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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