i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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