you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
