I wannas sexs uuuuu
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You were trust falling into bushes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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