so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
