Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
