Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
