no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
