what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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