question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
