you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
