im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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