hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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