I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
