that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
