from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
