Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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