your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No subtext here. People are naked.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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