I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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