Will you blow on my dice?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
