Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
