Me. At least after what I've been through.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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