Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
