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i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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