Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
