found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
