I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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