Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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