my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize