right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
