A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize