My first STD was from a foam party
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
