is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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