oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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