You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
