i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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