We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
