I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
