do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize