I just saw a hot homeless man
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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