You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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