i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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