You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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