guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
