piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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