big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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