i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
