Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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