I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
