meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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