Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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