i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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