as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
