The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize